I'm going to try to keep it brief...

...but probably fail.

So, I'm trying to buy a house, in case you didn't know.

I looked at a sweet little condo at the end of July. I liked it, I spent a few days doing paperwork and gathering information for a lender, dropped it in the mail and then went on a rollercoaster riding blowout on a bus with 50 other coaster weirdos and had the most fun I'd ever had in a single week.

I came home to a rather quiet week, since my real estate agent went on vacation the day I got home.

At the end of that week, I got a voicemail from the lender saying that he could not approve me for this mortgage. I was devastated for a season. Well, a couple of hours anyway. But then I heard this song in my head that goes "Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up." So I decided not to give up. I put my car up for sale in order to reduce my debt ratio, which seemed to be the problem, and called the lender to leave him a message that said, "I'm not giving up." I then proceeded to spend three more weeks jumping through hoops for this guy.

My car wasn't selling and I was getting discouraged because the hoops kept getting higher and smaller and even though I wasn't giving up, I just couldn't jump any more. So I emailed my agent and he gave me the name of another lender.

I met with lender number 2, who was far more personable and understood my plight. He did not make me do hours of homework. I just had to bring in taxes and stuff, which he made copies of. It was good to meet face to face with someone who was really friendly and honest and explained things rather than just saying, "Here's another hoop that MIGHT help."

But then he was like, "Mmmmm, I can't do it."

So then I emailed my agent again and said that lender number 2 probably couldn't do it and how about we start looking at properties in a lower price range. I knew that a lower price range would mean the semi-hood and probably not that nice of a house, but after a month of flagrantly displaying my finances on paper to strangers and straining with all my might to obtain a mortgage, I am refusing to just retreat and go back to renting. I will buy an Airstream and park it at Kosmo Village before I sign one more lease with another thieving bastard VCU-leeching slumlord.

*deep breath*exhale*

So yesterday, my agent emails me and said he was just on the phone with lender number 2 (who is really lender number 1 in my book) and that they had just had some kind of breakthrough (that was the word he used) in my situation and that it looked like I was going to be approved. I pictured a whole team of guys in suits gathered around a computer looking at my paperwork and punching in numbers all leaning in and tense and then some guy looking at the paperwork is like, "OMG how did we miss this? Try these numbers!" and then they punch those in and the computer screen starts to flash with the word APPROVED in multicolored letters and they all cheer and high-five each other and start calling their loved ones on their blue-tooth headsets to let everyone know they got the job done.

At any rate, like I told my sister, I won't believe it until I've put up my second Christmas tree there.